I’m sad because you let the
Flames singe your beautiful wings
Until they curled in dark blackness
Like ash in the fire.
I’m sad but the tears that wash my face
Only crumble burnt wings
Until they’re dirty piles on the cruel floor
That housed delicate feet that couldn’t
Handle the glass on the road.
I’m sad because you used to tell
Me things about how the wind
Feels in your blue wings and you would
Smile at the intricate patterns
In your skin and tell me how beautiful
We all are and you fooled me into
Thinking that you liked the shapes of your fingernails.
I’m sad when I saw all the people
Crying the kind of tears that don’t happen
That often and I’m sad when somebody
Hugs me because I can feel their
Sadness through the cotton of their shirts.
But most of all I’m angry:
Because you told lies like snake
Tongues between your teeth singed
With poison like all the people before
You that thought leaving was better
Than staying, that thinking you could
Stay in the bell jar below the desk
Until someday you turned the
Engine on all night and the fumes
Tasted sweeter than air.
I’m furious because you were the last
Straw this year, you broke me, you
Broke my skin, there are tears in my wings
And I don’t understand why every time
You saw tears in mine and fixed them
You never thought of the tears in yours.
I’m confused because these emotions
Are running into each other and bleeding
Out of my fingertips and down my pant leg
I feel anger, resentment, deep deep sadness,
And profound love for a race of people
With beautiful skin who sometimes refuse to
See it, that tell lies that they’re okay
Who think that bell jars are safe havens
When singed wings will only suffocate.
Your sadness is not beautiful,
It is utterly devastating
And my anger will not subside until
I see your life not as a plea for help
But as a glimmering pattern in the
Wings of the many people you left behind.