The grass is so frozen
It is ice and knives that try to dive
The flesh on the palms of my feet.
I peel my clothes off like dry layers
Of skin and parts of bone stick too
Until they form what look like snowflake
Constellations on my skin with blood speckled
Eggs on the ground, robins blue.
I said I would find a place to hide
And yell at the world
Teeth bared and blistering cold winds trapped
In the pink of my mouth.
But when I open my lips that are too often
Closed there is no sound. There is no anger.
There is a sadness that I cannot tell you a thing,
Like a heart beating underneath a crystalline ice.
Even though a good thing was born in an easy place
I make it difficult to breathe when I clench my jaw
Shut and blow cold rivers into the places between
Your shoulder blades that you thought I held safe.
I run into the landscape of white so blue
It hurts my eyes until you cannot find me
This is the place where loneliness kisses
My eye lids whispering sweet nothings
That I think sound like promises.
I am here in an ice castle that I have built
Out of words that I never said, they reside hollow shells,
Of my finger nails look prettier in a blue hue
I have an excuse here:
My lips are too frozen to open.
But I feel horrible because I do not know my
Way back– I would ask you to help me
But as I try to touch your cheek, I forget
That warmth hurts when you have shut yourself from it.